Mindfulness and IVF

One of the secrets to happiness is alignment.[1] But how do we find it, and across the multiple dimensions of our lives? I was fortunate to find alignment in my job and core values as a law professor teaching and writing about corporate social responsibility. At the relatively “young” age of 37, I was awarded tenure and promoted to professor. However, as I experienced more stability and success in the professional arena, there was one area of my personal life that fell into greater misalignment—my fertility. When I finally felt ready to start having children in my late thirties, I was considered “geriatric.”[2] The continued months of negative pregnancy tests and a miscarriage felt like a punishment for having prioritized my professional fulfilment in my 20s and early 30s.

Fortunately, modern science has made available a procedure called IVF (in vitro fertilization). Infertility affects 1 in 8 couples, and 7.4 million in the United States alone.[3] IVF involves injecting follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) to induce your ovaries to produce multiple eggs. The goal is to harvest and retrieve multiple mature eggs from your ovaries so that one or more of them can be fertilized, then implanted back into your uterus, to grow into a healthy baby. According to a 2019 editorial by Reproductive Biomedicine Online (RBMO), more than 2.5 million IVF cycles are being performed every year, resulting in approximately 500,000 deliveries annually.[4]

IVF can be painful, uncomfortable, uncertain, and expensive. For some, it is even dangerous.[5] Personally, IVF was both the hardest and easiest thing I have ever done. It was hard because of all of the injections, bleeding, bruising, waiting, wanting, grieving, and envy involved. It was easy because there was nothing I wanted more than what IVF could give to me. One thing that made it easier was meditation. Meditation helped me process and reflect on the challenges and triumphs in my path to motherhood through IVF, and I hope some of my postings here will offer some comfort in your journey toward the same.

[1] https://thriveglobal.com/stories/secret-to-happiness-is-alignment/ [2] While a “geriatric” pregnancy (used to describe a pregnant person 35 years of age or older) is now seen as an outdated term, its successor term, “advanced maternal age” conveys the same message. [3] https://resolve.org/how-many-people-have-infertility/#:~:text=1%20in%208%2C%20or%207.4,getting%20pregnant%20or%20sustaining%20pregnancy. [4] https://www.rbmojournal.com/article/S1472-6483(18)30598-4/pdf#:~:text=Over%208%20million%20IVF%20children,in%20over%20500%2C000%20deliveries%20annually. [5] Egg retrieval in rare cases can lead to serious complications, such as Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome.